Regina King admitted she still feels “a lot of guilt” over the death of her son, Ian Alexander Jr., by suicide two years ago.
“When a parent loses a child, you still wonder, ‘What could I have done so that wouldn’t have happened?’” the “Shirley” star, 54, said on “Good Morning America” Thursday.
“I know that I share this grief with everyone, but no one else is Ian’s mom. Only me and, so, it’s mine, and the sadness will never go away. It will always be with me.”
Alexander Jr. was King’s only child, and she said she’s forever changed since he died in January 2002.
“I’m a different person, you know, than I was January 19th,” the Oscar winner said.
“Grief is a journey. I understand that grief is love. It has no place to go. I understand that it’s important to honor Ian in the totality of who he is — I speak about him in the present because he’s always with me — and the joy and happiness that he gave all of us.”
King became emotional at one point when speaking to anchor Robin Roberts about her son’s passing.
The “Poetic Justice” star said in the past she felt “so angry” with God because of the “weight” of depression that had been given to Alexander Jr.
When he died, the DJ left behind a trail of haunting tweets that showcased his mental health struggles.
“You know that episode of SpongeBob where they go inside his brain and it’s a bunch of mini spongebobs just losing their s–t…..yea that one really hits home,’” the 26-year-old wrote five days before he passed.
In another post, he wrote, “I don’t think instagram is healthy for me.”
However, King told Roberts, 62, that she understood Alexander Jr. feeling “tired of talking” to therapists and psychiatrists.
“I respect and understand that he didn’t want to be here anymore, and that’s a hard thing for other people to receive because they did not live our experience,” she added.
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King — who would often attend award shows with her son — attended the 2024 Oscars on Sunday and admitted that going to those events without him can sometimes be “triggers.”
The “Boyz N the Hood” star confessed, “Sometimes his absence is really loud.”
A year after Alexander Jr. died, King posted a touching tribute, writing via Instagram at the time, “His spirit is the thread that connects us. Of course orange is your favorite color…Its the fire and the calm.”
She concluded, “I see you in everything I breath. My absolute favorite thing about myself is being ….Regina the mother of Ian the GodKing. Continue to shine bright, my guiding light. 🧡🧡🧡.”
If you or someone you know is affected by any of the issues raised in this story, call or text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988.
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