We are back in Palm Springs with our Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Meredith has planned some trust exercises to rebuild trust within this fractured group. Mary will continue to avoid interaction with the group and have production fetch her lattes and McDonald’s fish sandwiches instead. Sounds like fun, right?
Meredith summons everyone to the pool and tells them to adorn themselves with the custom T-shirts that she gave them. Angie must make her own T-shirt since Meredith clearly did not bring one for the uninvited. She shares in her ITM, “It was either make this T-shirt or call out a hit on her family.” WTF was that all about — we do hear an allegation about a Greek mafia in an upcoming episode.
Lisa visits Whitney’s room to discuss the incident between Angie and Meredith. Blotchy Whitney, who minutes before had no makeup, now has a full face of makeup. She plans on pushing Meredith off her hostess perch. Lisa believes that Meredith weaponizes everything. She shares that she has been the one attacked so she can see the signs. Lisa mentions that Meredith is holding something over Angie’s head that is detrimental to her family.
Meredith, while wearing a hot pink tracksuit, is chatting with Seth while eating caviar for breakfast. She would have been happy on RHONY when Erin served a whole meal of caviar. Who knew caviar could be the breakfast of champions? Heather is clearly proud that she can puke and still be able to rally. She should have stayed in her room all day since that is nothing to be proud of. Heather managed to puke and pee at the same time and stunk up the sprinter. Whitney could have done without her puke on her leg.
Mer is chatting with Monica about the previous night and finds Angie’s comments to be slanderous. She appreciates that Monica told her friend Angie that she was out of line. Monica is bowing down to Meredith like she is the Regina George of the group. She claims to not recognize her “good friend’s” behavior from the night before. Meredith has planned some trust exercises for their day, but they must deal with the rain. Mary comes out of her room and is clearly not interested in doing anything remotely physical.
We load up on the Febreze/Lysol cleaned sprinter which has been checked with a black light to ensure there are no bodily fluids remaining. Mary refuses to participate in this exercise since she is no longer a soccer mom. She knows who her friends are and does not want to engage. Why is Mary on this show? This trust exercise is an exercise in futility. This poor man Cliff has no clue who he is working with. Angie and Heather are paired up and they clomp around (mostly Heather clomps) through the course. Mer and Whitney are paired up, and they do a decent job working together. Lisa and Monica are paired up, and I would not want Lisa talking me through anything. Mary is busy ordering an oat milk latte in the van, and I just cannot believe she continues to get away with it. Whitney and Meredith completed the exercise first, so does that mean they trust each other?
Back at the sprinter, Meredith tells Mary that she wishes that she had done the exercise. Lisa jumps in and Mary reacts like she has just been bitten by a snake. Mary does not want Lisa interjecting her opinion and wants to know if she has a mute button. LOL! Whitney questions Mary on why she wanted to attend a girls’ trip but chooses to not engage. Whitney wants to take over the evening and do a drag-inspired show.
Back at the motel, Lisa is panicking since she must take her makeup off without the help of glam. She spends $60k on makeup each year, which is absurd. Lisa breaks the fourth wall by talking to producers named Will and Lori. Monica overhears Lisa losing her sh*t and thinks she is Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Lisa should have stomped her feet and said, “I want glam now, Daddy.” Lisa is in tears contemplating taking off her makeup, which she even wears to the grocery store. She cannot allow anyone to ever see her in a less-than-fabulous way. Did she go yachting with John-John and Diddy with Sonja from RHONY as well?
Lisa is having a glam breakdown, and let’s hope there is not another hot mic moment since Whit will be slammed. Side note: What horrors are hiding under Lisa’s makeup? She appears to have some sun damage, which clearly showed when her makeup artist was trying to cover it up.
Some of the ladies do a drag queen costume contest, and Trixie must coax them out. Whitney (Little Girl with a bobblehead), Heather (NOT Dolly’s pride), Angie (Anita Invite or Rainbow Bright), and Monica (Jersey Mariah Snookie) clearly got the memo. Meredith and Lisa apparently do not want to dress as a caricature of themselves. Mary comes out and clearly is not participating in another activity. Trixie awards Monica with the Drag Queen award, and I notice Bad Wheather looks a little jelly. Monica thinks that Lisa is insecure without makeup, and that is why she chose to not participate.
They load back up on the vomit van to another unsuspecting local establishment. Lisa wants to know the story behind the wet noodle conversation. She insists she is in head-to-toe couture and that should be good enough for any occasion — even drag. Monica lets Lisa know how tone-deaf she is. She then tells Lisa she cannot possibly relate to Middle America, and Lisa insists that the middle class could afford a $60k ring. Nope, not without taking an equity line of credit on your home…
Lisa is not going to take this crap from a newbie who looks like Snookie and is totally unapologetic. She insists that she is a good person. Angie seems to enjoy being able to tell Monica she is coming across as a d*ck and lets her hang out to dry. This argument with Monica and Lisa is insane, and the thirst is real. Monica starts insulting Lisa in Portuguese, and I am losing interest in her fast.
Mary will not get out of the van but wants the driver to take her to McDonald’s. Whitney tells Mer that she wished that she had participated in the drag show. Mer has a shooting headache for the last two days and refuses to put 30 pounds of hair on her head. She loses her sh*t on Whit and calls her a monster for suggesting she uses sick children to divert attention from herself. Mer is not completely wrong since Whit looks like a ’60s Barbie gone mad in her get-up.
Angie is circling the waring housewives like a glow-in-the-dark shark and hears Mer refer to her as a pit bull. Mer is playing “Ring Around the Rosie” on her bar chair. She is making me dizzy trying to avoid Angie’s blinding fluorescent hair and giant yapper. Angie then bizarrely tells Mer she looks like a trampoline with eyes. Monica gets called out for comparing Angie to a lap dog when everyone knows she was perched on Jen’s lap as her assistant/yappy chihuahua. She then ridiculously states that she was not paid by her. Come on, girl, just own that you used to work for the wicked witch of Salt Lake City! The ladies load up on the stinky sprinter that is now Mickey-D infused with salty fries and fried fish. Mary looks upon this group and cannot recall how she ended up with them. She keeps getting special treatment by production but how long will that last?
Next week, we have more fallout from the trip. Happy Hump Day, Blurbers, and see you all next week in Salt Lake!
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