EXCLUSIVE: I spent $12,000 getting devil horns and 100 piercings in my face. My mental health has never been better

A Kansas blogger who has battled eating disorders claims weightlifting and extreme body modifications have helped them cope with trauma and ‘defeat’ their eating disorder.

Jessy Kirkpatrick, 27, who is nonbinary and uses the pronouns they/them, had a healthy relationship with food as a child. 

However, in their late teens, they began suffering from anorexia, which they believe stems from severe trauma they experienced as a child.

Kirkpatrick turned to modifications to heal their mental health. The extreme body modifications include a stretched septum – the structure separating the right and left nostrils – multiple lip piercings, a stretched tongue, a stretched lip, stretched nostrils and silicone horn implants in the forehead that make them look like a devil.

Kirkpatrick said: ‘By the time I hit 16, I was dealing with anorexia for the first time, and my weight dropped to a scary 98 pounds.’

Kirkpatrick said they had such severe problems with eating that even after consuming the smallest portions of foods, they would vomit blood. 

‘I was fading away, and there was nothing I could do about it,’ they added. 

They also suffered from anxiety and tachycardia, a heart rate of more than 100 beats per minute. 

‘Over the years that followed, I found myself trapped in an anorexia cycle. Just as I thought I had gained control, I’d relapse. 

‘My condition worsened and progressed to multiple food allergies that made eating – and keeping food down – even more challenging.’

Kirkpatrick later faced other medical challenges when they were diagnosed with a damaged spinal disc from physical abuse and fibromyalgia, a chronic condition that causes widespread pain and tenderness throughout the entire body. 

They took up bodybuilding and began modifying their body. 

Kirkpatrick said: ‘My sleep routine got better. I had less pain and could function during the day. I could lift items without literally breaking a rib, and, best of all, I felt happier than I had in years.

‘Now, when I look in the mirror, I don’t see a skeleton; I see a strong and powerful being. I can’t tell you how satisfying that is.

‘Anorexia took everything from me. It rewired my brain chemistry and transformed me into a walking corpse. I was physically and mentally dead.

‘Being muscular represents to me that I can defeat my eating disorder no matter how many times it reappears; I refuse to give up. I’m not going down without a fight, even if my worst enemy is myself.’

They estimate in the last decade, they have spent about $12,000 on these procedures.  

Kirkpatrick said: ‘My mandala tattoos represent my Buddhist religion and serve as a reminder that I am capable of rising above violence and hate.

‘My nostrils are my favorite feature. They demonstrate to me that I can push my body beyond what it should be capable of, regardless of the tug and pull of confinement.’

Kirkpatrick’s additional upcoming body modification plans include having their septum and lip piercing enlarged, splitting their tongue, getting full-body tattoos, adding more implants and horns, getting ‘world record nostrils’ and having their eyeballs tattooed, an irreversible procedure in which dye is injected into the white part of the eye and it slowly spreads to cover the area.

Additionally, on the advice of their doctors, they also started strength training. 

‘My doctor suggested working out could help alleviate the discomfort, even if only a little,’ they said. 

Kirkpatrick started going to the gym daily, building strength in their legs and biceps. Swimming, tennis, and yoga became part of their regular workout routine and ‘an outlet for my pain and anxiety.’ 

Soon after they started lifting weights and modifying their body, Kirkpatrick noticed their physical and mental health improve. 

Despite the strides Kirkpatrick has made, they still grapple with nutrition, though cooking their own meals has been therapeutic. 

They said: ‘There’s comfort and control in knowing exactly what ingredients I’m eating.’ 

The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) estimates at any given point, between 0.3 and 0.4 percent of young women and 0.1 percent of young men will suffer from anorexia. 

Anorexia is also common in teens and young adults. Young people between the ages of 15 and 24 with anorexia are 10 times more likely to die compared to their peers who don’t have the disorder, NEDA estimates.

According to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms include extreme weight loss, thin appearance, abnormal blood counts, fatigue, insomnia, dizziness or fainting, bluish discoloration in the fingers, hair that thins or falls out, constipation, cold intolerance, low blood pressure, and lack of a menstrual period in females. 

While not everyone appreciates or supports Kirkpatrick’s love for body modification, they have seen a warmer reaction from their TikTok followers and are satisfied with the progress they have made. 

They said: ‘People often tell me I’m going to hell for the way I look, and they never stop going on about how I’ve messed up my body. They call me ugly; they call me a freak.

‘But you know what? I believe it’s my call to decide who I want to be and how I want to look. I’m the one who knows what’s best for my health, my pain, and my conditions.

‘I’m the boss of my own transformation because, in the end, it’s how I see myself that really matters.’