I was born with one hand it makes dating difficult – men used to ghost me because of my disability but now I’m proud to look different

A one-handed woman claims being ghosted by men when they discovered her disability left her so ’embarrassed’ she would hide it – but has finally learned to show it off with pride.

Leona Brown, 31, spent almost two decades hiding her birth defect on social media and avoiding dates with men as she was self-conscious of her condition, which meant her hand had not developed properly in the womb.

By the time she was clubbing aged 18 she said she would use her clutch bag to conceal her disability and would walk around with her arms folded at school and in public.

And when the mother-of-one did pluck up the courage to meet with a potential suitor, she claims men would often ghost her after discovering her limb and refuse to meet up again.

Leona, an embroiderer from Middlesbrough in North Yorkshire, said she first became self-conscious about her disability aged eight at primary school when other pupils started to call her names and stare.

She said most of the torment came from boys who called her names like ‘baby hand’ and ‘foot hand’ and said the teasing stuck with her as she grew up.

But now, Leona is on a mission to normalise her disability and says she no longer cares what people think.

Instead, she bravely shares videos discussing ‘life with one hand’ on social media to encourage others to just ‘be yourself’.

She explained: ‘From the age of eight I started to hide [my hand].

‘I started to notice people questioning my hand and staring at it – this is when I began to walk around with my arms crossed or hide it under my sleeve.

‘I was teased a lot. It was usually when I met new people that would make comments and I would get people saying ‘baby hand’ or that I had a foot on my hand.

‘From the age of eight to 27 I hid my hand and it became a normal thing for me to do.

‘The teasing made me feel so different from everyone else and I hated this.

‘I hid my hand a lot from boys. It was mainly boys in primary school that said things to me and this stuck with me.

‘As I got older, I did have boyfriends, but I would never be my true self around them and would hide my hand from them.

‘I would avoid going on dates for food and avoid situations where I would have to use my hand in front of them as this scared me.

‘From the age of 18 I was even more self conscious about my hand with boys.

‘I started dating people through Facebook but I would hide my hand in every photo so you wouldn’t even know I had this disability.

‘When I used to go out clubbing I would hide my hand with my clutch bag and put my arm around it so you couldn’t see it.

‘I was always so embarrassed by it and would never put myself out there.

‘In the past, I have had men ghost me and stop messaging if they noticed my hand. They would see it and never message me again. This definitely happened a few times.’

Leona was born with the congenital condition – known as Symbrachydactyly – which affects a single upper limb and can cause some fingers to be undeveloped or not to develop at all.

She said it was only when she had her son at 22 that she began to start embracing her hand as she wanted to be seen as a role model to her first child.

Leona has now created a TikTok page to raise awareness of her disability and hopes to empower others with the same condition.

On her page, she shares both humorous and more serious videos to make light of her hand and normalise it within society.

Leona said: ‘I had my son when I was 22. This was a big turning point for me as I kept telling him to be himself and embrace who he was but I wasn’t doing this.

‘I knew I needed to start being my full self and embracing my hand as I now had someone looking up to me. I wanted to be a role model for him.

‘I then made my TikTok page in lockdown.

‘I found more people on the app with the same condition as me. Before this I hadn’t seen anyone with it.

‘This is when I started up the page and it helped me become more accepting of my hand and become more confident.

‘When I was growing up, there was hardly any representation of disability, which is why I make my TikTok so people can learn more about it.

‘I make funny videos to attract people to my page, which lets them see more of my more serious videos too.

‘For example, I post about getting my nails done for half the price. I call it a five-finger discount. My nail tech charges me £15 for a set of gel manicures.

‘I also show myself in the gym and how I complete daily tasks with my condition.’

Leona said she now feels confident in her disability and posts photos showing her hand on her social media.

She also explained how she goes to the gym on her own, which is something she hadn’t done until the age of 21 for fear of people staring at her hand.

Leona said: ‘Before I was 21, I would never have stepped foot in a gym because I knew it was a place where I couldn’t hide my hand.

‘My friends push me more and more to do normal things and this really helped.

‘I now post photos showing my hand which is something I wouldn’t have done before. I embrace it now and look at it with a different attitude.

‘My self confidence has grown massively since having my son.

‘This year on the reality TV show Married at First Sight, there is the first ever contestant without a limb.

‘Reality TV shows including people with similar conditions is so nice to see and makes me happy.

‘The better represented a disability like mine is, the more normalised it will become.

‘And this is what I am trying to do with my TikTok.

‘I would say to my younger self and anyone else that has my disability to just be yourself. It’s the best thing you can do and it will open up a lot more opportunities.’