Drew Sollenberger with three of his biological children
A 38-year-old asexual man from Maryland has fathered more than two dozen children and counting — without ever having sex.
Virgin Drew Sollenberger has been a prolific sperm donor for 16 years, which has led to 25 successful pregnancies for women across the country.
The software engineer realized he was aromantic, meaning he experienced little or no romantic attraction to either sex, at about the age of 22.
Yet ironically, he has always wanted to be a father since he was a teenager.
His love for children began when his older sister got pregnant at 18, and he spent a couple of years helping take care of his nephew.
‘I realized I really loved kids,’ he told DailyMail.com. As soon as he could, he started volunteering with children.
‘My only real complaint was the volunteering I had was more short-term. I’d watch a kid for a day, I’d be involved in this activity, and the kid would move on with their life.
‘It was fun, but I wasn’t sure it was long-term impactful — the kids weren’t going to remember me.’
But his drive to be a father clashed with his sexuality.
Mr Sollenberger said: ‘I just never dated anyone, never wanted to, never met anyone I’m remotely interested in, which I’m fine with, but that means no nuclear family, no getting to be a traditional father. And that upset me.
‘I went half a year trying to tell myself, it’s okay, I can still volunteer, it’s good enough, but it was still bothering me.’
The 38-year-old, from Maryland, realized he was aromantic, meaning he experienced little or no romantic attraction to either sex, at about the age of 22 – but he still desperately wanted to be a dad
Mr Sollenberger considered fostering or paying for a surrogate but decided the latter was not an option because he said he donates all his money to charity.
He told DailyMail.com: ‘I could, but I won’t. That’s multiple lives that could be saved with that money instead; it’s not a good use of the money.’
He then came across Known Donor Registry, a website connecting alternative families and infertile couples with sperm donors, and also joined the Facebook group Sperm Donation USA because ‘it’s what everyone else uses.’
Now he has regular contact with eight of the children he helped conceive, seeing them roughly once a month to hang out at their houses or go to the beach.
‘I originally wanted a lot of contact [with the children]. I’ve pulled back on that for a number of reasons.’
Mr Sollenberger said his motivation for donating has changed ‘entirely’ from ‘donating because I wanted to have kids I could have a relationship with to donating because women needed more committed donors.’
He also started asking for less contact because he realized women were lying to him.
‘People will just lie to you and say they want contact when they don’t. So it’s better to tell them, I’ll give you what level you want, so that you will tell me what you actually want, rather than me getting up my hopes and then having them dashed over and over.’
Sperm donation has been around for 60+ years, with the first sperm banks opening in the 1960s. But prices have skyrocketed over the years, giving rise to an underground sperm market.
Mr Sollenberger used to drive up to three hours to give his sperm in a cup to same-sex couples and heterosexual couples who could not conceive naturally.
The fact he is a virgin seems to be working in his favor. He said that women, especially those with male partners, prefer knowing he does not have sex.
Mr Sollenberger also has a YouTube channel where he gives advice to people wanting to have children using sperm donation
Mr Sollenberger spoke to DailyMail.com after returning from a week spent with two of his biological daughters, who he refers to as his ‘goddaughters’.
Of his children he is allowed to see, the oldest is nine, and the youngest is a year and a half.
He said: ‘Pretty much all the kids call me uncle, except for the two that call me godfather, which is practically the same relationship under a different name.’
Mr Sollenberger is legally the caregiver for his children if both the parents die for two families.
‘But generally, I’m the uncle. I’m the fun guy who comes and plays with them, usually about once a month. Some people have given me permission to visit more often, but I try not to visit more than once a month.’
‘I try to put the recipients as the primary motive for donating now.’
Mr Sollenberger said his parents are supportive of his decision to donate.
‘My dad has been surprisingly quiet on the whole affair, which I’m shocked about. He’s a pessimist at heart. The very first thing he said was, “They’re only doing this for child support.” I told him we get contracts and he was like, okay, then he was done with it.’
He said his mother struggled at first with not being able to know more about her biological grandchildren.
‘I do think it’s a little culture shock [for my mom] to meet the interracial children of the lesbian couple whose mother is all for trans rights and thinks BDSM is a cool thing.’
Mr Sollenberger has a ‘golden rule’ he tries to instill in all his children.
‘Someone should be allowed to do whatever makes them happy, as long as they aren’t hurting someone. Even if you think it’s strange or bizarre.’
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