Any hobby that gives someone satisfaction carries the risk of becoming an obsession, whether that is playing online games, going to the gym or even sex.
The warning signs that you have crossed over into obsessive behavior aren’t always obvious, said psychologist and leadership coach Dr Perpetua Neo, speaking to DailyMail.com.
Dreaming about your hobby every now and then is fine, but if it becomes a recurring theme it could be a sign that someone has become fixated.
Below, Dr Neo reveals the six potential warning signs that a healthy passion has crossed the line into obessesion:
Psychologist and leadership coach Dr Perpetua Neo (Dr Perpetua Neo)
It’s important not to get confused between obsessions and normal, healthy interests, Dr Neo said – pointing out that the words ‘obsession’ and ‘addiction’ are over-used.
She said: ‘People will say things like you’re addicted, you’re obsessed, you’re compulsive. It’s very easy to throw a label when someone’s having an interest that is new, something that they like to be part of.’
Dr Neo said that when a hobby ‘crosses the line’ into obsession, it’s often about numbing another feeling such as sadness.
She said: ‘Obsession is often about someone looking for relief. So basically, if you don’t do it, you feel very uncomfortable.’
That can manifest itself in different ways depending on whether the obsession is with gym-going, social media or gaming, Dr Neo said – but there are several typical ‘warning signs’ that an interest is becoming unhealthy.
It’s the first thing you do in the morning
What is the first thing you do in the morning? If it’s to engage with your hobby (or something related to it like YouTube videos or a blog), it could be a sign you have a problem, Dr Neo said.
Is the first thing you do in the morning related to your hobby?
Dr Neo said, ‘Maybe the first thing you do in the morning is think, “I need to wake up to see where I am on the leaderboard for a game, or I need to do X activity relating to the hobby.”’
That’s a sign that your brain pathways around the activity are heading towards obsession, Dr Neo warns.
You start to wear clothes relating to your hobby
When a hobby crosses into an obsessive interest, people tend to take up secondary activities relating to the hobby, such as watching YouTube videos, joining a fan club or collecting paraphernalia such as clothing.
Dr Neo said, ‘When you are obsessed, it occupies more of your time: you are reading about it, doing secondary parallel things, like going on YouTube, researching online about it.
‘There tends to be a lot of supplementary activities happening around the main activity,’ Dr Neo explained. ‘You read the books, you join the fan club, you get the paraphernalia, you make your identity aligned with it.’
‘It’s occupying your thoughts. It’s becoming your predominant focus.’
You dream about your hobby
Dreaming about your hobby (or finding it difficult to sleep because of thoughts about it), can be a warning sign that you are obsessed, Dr Neo warned.
Dr Neo said, ‘The more your habits happen, the more your brain pathways are growing stronger and stronger, so that it encroaches into your dreams into your thoughts.’
You move social events to make time
Moving meetings or nights out with friends to find ‘extra’ time for your hobby is a clear warning sign, Dr Neo said.
Dr Neo said: ‘If you are thinking, “Maybe I’ll decline this, maybe I’ll open this window, maybe I’ll shorten the other meeting. So I can make extra time for this interest, or this hobby,” it tends to creep in more and more.
‘Instead of just creating space for it, you are starting to delete other tasks, people and responsibilities from your life, to give space to this.’
You stop brushing your teeth
When an obsession truly takes hold, people tend to lose a grip on the basics of their lives, Dr Neo said.
Dr Neo said that if she is worried a patient is obsessive, she will ask whether they are attending to the basics, such as brushing teeth and going to work.
She said: ‘Are you functioning? Are you giving up the rest of your life and functioning for this?
‘Do you find that you’re harming yourself or somebody else? So it is an obsession, where you are not cleaning yourself? It happens! Or you are not seeing your friends or your partner is complaining that your children are not being fed?’
You use your hobby as an escape
A clear sign that a hobby or interest is not healthy is when you use it as an escape from reality, Dr Neo said.
Healthy interests can have utility in people’s lives, such as offering them a space to reflect, or finding friends, Dr Neo said.
Dr Neo said: ‘When something just provides a relief, and an escape from the world, then often that’s not very healthy.’
How to recover from obsession
Dr Perpetua Neo is a business coach and psychologist (Dr Perpetua Neo)
Dr Neo said that ‘black and white’ solutions are not always the best answer to obsession, and it can help to cut down slowly rather than cutting an activity out forever.
Dr Neo suggests negotiating a ‘happy point’ with yourself.
So for example, instead of scrolling for hours on Instagram, you spend 40% of your time doing that, and then pick up the book that you intended to read.
She said, ‘it’s about creating these little rules to help you to have this happy balance, rather than just obsession, black and white, because you have to find solutions that work in the real world.
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