Health & Lifestyle

Jilly Cooper opens up about the guilt she felt during her late husband’s battle with Parkinson’s and admits there were times she thought: ‘Please God, take him’

Jilly Cooper has revealed the guilt she felt while coping with her late husband Leo’s  Parkinson’s battle.

The renowned ‘bonkbuster’ novelist – who has written dozens of steamy fiction novels – lost Leo ten years ago, when he was 79, after a decade-long illness.  

‘It sounds silly this, but because he had Parkinson’s, it’s such a shocker,’ she told The Times from her home in in Bisley, Gloucestershire.

‘You almost get to the place where you think, “Please God, take him”. Then you feel terribly guilty. It’s not fair.’ 

The couple were married for 53 years before Leo – a publisher of military books – passed away.

And the writer, now 86, admitted that his passing was painfully surprising, as she recounted that at times it was especially difficult to watch him grapple with the disease he had been diagnosed with since 2002

And the writer, now 86, admitted that his passing was painfully surprising, as she recounted that at times it was especially difficult to watch him grapple with the disease he had been diagnosed with since 2002

Their marriage endured much, including infidelity (on both sides) infertility and the adoption of their two much-loved children Felix, now 55, and Emily, 52, after an ectopic pregnancy.

Jilly also told the publication about how painful it was to navigate the turbulent periods, at times, remarking that ‘adultery hurts very much when it happens to you’.

During the 1990s, it was revealed that Leo had a six-year affair with publisher Sarah Johnson, however, the author admitted that she ‘forgave him’. 

‘And he couldn’t leave me,’ she quipped. ‘He couldn’t afford to, poor boy.’

In a recent interview with the Daily Mail, Jilly added that she has ‘stopped crying’ about her grief for Leo.

‘I’ve not cried for ages and I didn’t. Parkinson’s is such a foul disease… it’s not fair for anyone to suffer that much.

Jilly also told the publication about how painful it was to navigate the turbulent periods, at times, remarking that 'adultery hurts very much when it happens to you'

Jilly also told the publication about how painful it was to navigate the turbulent periods, at times, remarking that ‘adultery hurts very much when it happens to you’

In a recent interview with the Daily Mail , Jilly (pictured in 1978) added that she has 'stopped crying' about her grief for Leo

In a recent interview with the Daily Mail , Jilly (pictured in 1978) added that she has ‘stopped crying’ about her grief for Leo

‘And then you’d feel guilty because it was the wrong attitude.’

However, she still ‘talks to him a lot’. 

‘I ask him how he is, how God is getting on,’ she recounted. ‘If any of our friends arrive in heaven I expect him to be there waiting with an enormous glass of red wine or a whisky. He was such a hospitable man. 

‘I always love the thought, too, that in heaven all our dogs are running across a green lawn to welcome us and our favourite dog is leading the pack.’ 

Jilly had also opened up about the writing process behind her latest book, Tackle! 

During the 1990s, it was revealed that Leo had a six-year affair with publisher Sarah Johnson. Jilly and Leo pictured in 2001

During the 1990s, it was revealed that Leo had a six-year affair with publisher Sarah Johnson. Jilly and Leo pictured in 2001

Her legendary fictional hero, improbably handsome racehorse owner Rupert Campbell-Black, is there at the centre of its pulsing heart as ever.

But this time Rupert decides to buy a languishing local football club so his daughter can return to ­Rutshire with her football star husband.

In the interests of research, Jilly has become a late life football aficionado, immersing herself in the arcane language of assists, penalties, disputed calls and corners.

‘Every weekend during the football season I watch Soccer Saturday,’ she said. ‘Sweet men are always giving me football shirts. I have a Norwich one, a Man City one. I wear them in the summer.

WHAT IS PARKINSON’S DISEASE AND WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS?

What is Parkinson’s disease?

Parkinson’s disease is a condition in which parts of the brain become progressively damaged over many years, according to the NHS website.

What are the symptoms?

The NHS says there are three major symptoms, including tremors or shaking, slowness of movement and muscle stiffness.

Other symptoms include problems with balance, loss of smell, nerve pain, excessive sweating and dizziness.

Some people can also experience lack of sleep, excessive production of saliva and problems swallowing, causing malnutrition and dehydration.

What are the early signs?

Symptoms can start gradually, sometimes beginning with a barely noticeable tremor in just one part of the body.

In the early stages, people may show little or no expression, and their arms may not swing when they walk.

Speech can also become soft or slurred, with the condition worsening over time.

What are the causes?

Some scientists believe a combination of genetic and environmental factors are the cause of Parkinson’s disease.

It occurs after a person experiences loss of nerve cells in a part of their brain.

However, it is not known why the loss of nerve cells associated with the condition takes place but research is ongoing to identify potential causes.

Scientists say genetics factor can increase a person’s risk of developing the disease, and can therefore run in families.

Other factors attributed to causing the condition include environmental problems such as pollution, though such links are inconclusive, the NHS says.

How is it diagnosed?

No tests can conclusively show if a person has the disease, but doctors can make a diagnosis based on symptoms, medical history and a physical examination.

A specialist will ask the person to write or draw, walk or speak to check for any common signs of the condition.

They may even check for difficulty making facial expressions and slowness of limb movement.

How many people are affected?

Around 145,000 people live with Parkinson’s disease in the UK, according to the charity Parkinson’s UK.

What happens if someone is diagnosed?

According to the charity, it is a legal requirement to contact the DVLA, as a diagnosed person will need to have a medical or driving assessment.

The organisation also advises people to contact any insurance providers and find out about financial support available.

People are also encouraged to partake in more exercise.

Can it be treated?

Although there is no cure, a number of treatments are available to help reduce the symptoms.

The main remedies include medication, exercise, therapy and surgery, which can help people in different ways.

What medication is available and what are the side effects?

Medication can be helpful in improving the main symptoms of Parkinson’s disease, such as shaking and movement problems.

There are three main types which are commonly used, levodopa, dopamine agonist or a MAO-B inhibitor. Each can affect people in different ways.

The drugs do have some side effects, including impulsive and compulsive behaviour, hallucinations, sleep issues and blood pressure changes.

What therapy is available?

There are several therapies available to those with Parkinson’s through the NHS.

Among them are physiotherapy to reduce muscle stiffness, occupational therapy to help with completing day-to-day tasks and speech and language coaching.

Does this change the way you live?

Most people’s life expectancy will not change a great deal, though more advanced symptoms can lead to increased disability and poor health.

It can also cause some cognitive issues and changes to mood and mental health.

Those with Parkinson’s are encouraged to exercise more often, with scientists saying 2.5 hours of exercise a week is enough to slow the progression of symptoms.

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‘I love Man City! I think Pep Guardiola, the manager, is ­wonderful. And I’m in love with (midfielder) Phil Foden. And ­Grealish is fun, isn’t he?

‘He’s one of those players who rushes up and hugs anyone who scores then smiles at the camera.

‘Another great friend is John Madejski [Reading FC’s former chairman]. He’s jolly attractive and has lovely glamorous lunch parties at Reading so you get to meet all sorts of celebrities.’

It was, however, the mighty Sir Alex Ferguson, former Manchester United manager, who inspired her to set her latest novel in the footballing world: ‘I sat next to him at a lunch. He’s so lovely. Very attractive.

‘I told him a very naughty story and he roared with laughter. He thought it was hysterical.’


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