For three seasons, FBoy Island has been a happy, healthy matriarchy, but on Monday night, we might’ve seen the first whispers of a bro-led uprising—a dude d’etat that could shake the island’s foundations as we know them, were it not so pathetic.
Last week, we found out that two notorious FBoys (Season 2’s Danny and Mercedes) were heading to the beach for a second shot at romance. What we didn’t know was that the show had also thrown in a Nice Guy—Benedict, the comedian who charmed Louise Barnard last season with his one-liners and infectious smile before ultimately choosing Mercedes. Benedict might be the one to shake things up the most this season—if nothing else, because even this season’s “Nice Guys” seem pretty reprehensible. Then again, it was Mercedes who managed to spark the meltdown of the season after less than one week.
The rules of FBoy Island are simple: Three women date their way through a bevy of men, some of whom are “Nice Guys” who have volunteered to split the show’s $100,000 cash prize. Meanwhile, the remainder of the men (our cocky, crypto-loving “FBoys”) can choose to run off with the cash at the end.
From the moment Benedict walks in, Katie Thurston, former Bachelorette and one of our three leads this season, is absolutely gaga—although she uses the word “Benedict-matized,” which feels like it should somehow be punishable by law. Although she’s worried this well-muscled joke machine might be a big hit with other ladies on Instagram, Benedict promises during their first one-on-one date that “the DMs are mild.” (I’m calling it now, though: This former Nice Guy has got to be returning as an FBoy—otherwise, where’s the drama!?)
None of this sits well with Vince, one of the few exceptions to the aforementioned “even the Nice Guys this season seem kind of awful” rule. Benedict looks like Hercules, Vince laments, and in the “real world,” at least, that would diminish Vince’s chances. Just when Vince starts getting tearful in his confessional interviews and spewing his feelings all over the house, one of his fellow (I think) Nice Guys, Keem, offers him some sage advice: “Get your swag together.”
Cue Vince interrupting Katie’s date with another guy, saving her from a kiss she clearly did not want and re-establishing himself as a man with a chance. Honestly? Assuming the swag stays intact, I’m rooting for him.
Katie Thurston and Daniella Grace.
The CW
Katie’s not the only one who has inspired a little friendly competition; she actually might be the only person whose competition has actually remained friendly. The testosterone-induced competition building up around our other two leads, Daniella Grace and Hali Okeowo, is starting to reek of something worse than B.O.—misguided machismo.
From the moment Mercedes walked into the house, it was obvious he’d stir trouble, and not just because he did the same thing last season. His brother, Marquies, is also a contestant on the show (as sneakily revealed last week), and Mercedes has already stolen his girl… Or he would have, if she were anyone’s to steal.
Although Marquies insists that he’s never had all of his eggs in 20-year-old model Hali’s basket—a phrase he deploys this week with alarming regularity—it kind of seemed like he did, right until Mercedes showed up. Now, all of a sudden Marquies is eager to talk up Daniella, who seems just as uninterested as Hali does. But don’t tell that to Marquies.
Of all the women leading this cast, Hali seems to be the one who tolerates the least nonsense—whenever her FBoys and Nice Guys step out of line, she loves to check them with a laugh and a refreshingly direct invitation to just sit down. In other words: Marquies never stood a chance. When he tries to pull Hali aside and let her know he’s pursuing Daniella, Hali knows the score. Still, she lets him talk before asking, with a plastered-on smile, “Are you letting me down easy? What’s going on here?”
Speaking with producers in a confessional interview, Hali reminds us what this show is all about. “I’m confused as to how he thinks it’s his decision,” she says, and she’s right. Each season of FBoy Island is a story in which its female leads are the brave heroines, and all of the dudes are fascinating but ultimately secondary characters—if not outright heels. The rules make it so: This is the women’s journey to find love, not Marquies’, or Mercedes’, or anyone else’s—at least, until we finally get a season of FGirl Island.
And speaking of men who’ve grown too big for their britches, we must also discuss Jared—an admitted FBoy from Miami who is determined to fool Daniella and run away with the cash prize. If that’s really his plan, he might want to start executing it better; after his childish explosion last week, Daniella is far from impressed. Although Jared apologizes this week and tells her he’d decided to hang back while others made their moves because he’s confident in their connection, she assures him he has little reason to be confident right now.
The participants of FBoy Island.
The CW
This week, however, it’s another cast member’s turn to cause a scene during the cocktail mixer. Nyk has received basically no screen time, but this week, he might go down in history as the biggest knob to ever get eliminated on FBoy Island.
It all starts when Nyk decides to confront Mercedes about his decision to join the cast in spite of his poor, gameless brother. (This island is apparently only big enough for one man wearing a nose stud in one nostril and a ring in the other!) Mercedes is never one to back down, so instead, he accused Nyk of fishing for screen time and revived one of his favorite insults from last season—“goofy.” Although he insists he would never go for the same woman as his brother in any other context, he maintains that the rules here are different and that Nyk sounds “dumb.”
Nyk doesn’t sound too “dumb” then, but he does sound like a big ol’ dunce later, when Hali gives him the boot.
During this week’s elimination ceremony, the women send three more fish back into the sea: Daniella axes the 23-year-old Floridian Steven (whose “sincere” post-elimination speech made Hali chuckle to herself), while Katie cuts the mustachioed Connor because they clearly lack chemistry. Steven seems to delight in talking trash on his way out, announcing that none of the women would have “made” his “list”—yuck—and Connor also goes without a fuss. (Predictably, both of them are FBoys.)
But when Hali cuts Nyk to give Marquies a (definitely doomed) chance to pursue Daniella, a hush falls over the crowd. This is clearly not the move anyone expected, and Nyk is seething. “You showing your character right now,” he scolds, “and it’s weak as fuck.” Because Hali chose to keep Mercedes—a former FBoy—over him, Nyk has apparently decided that she’s a “motherfucking gold-digger.”
Hali is not having it. When Nyk tells her, “I don’t like the vibes,” she fires back, “I don’t give a fuck what you like.” Still, Nyk is not done; after telling Hali that Mercedes will “probably leave you like he left the last one” (presumably, last season’s Louise), Nyk proclaims, “I need a female that’s solid.”
Somehow, Hali does not seem too distressed to be losing this walking red flag in red plaid pants—even if he does claim to be a Nice Guy. She sends him home with a smile and a wave, reminding us once and for all that no man who raises his sword against the women of FBoy Island shall ever triumph. And honestly? Thank the beach-bound gods for that.
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