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Chris Kamara has revealed he once considered ending his own life as he struggled with his diagnosis.
In a new book titled ‘Kammy’, serialised by the Daily Mirror, he opened up about his lowest points and added he didn’t want to become a burden to his wife Anne.
“I’m going to admit something now, something I’ve never mentioned before. It’s hard for me to talk about, so bear with me,” he wrote.
Chris resides with his other half a their home in Wakefield where the couple tends to their sheep and horses.
It was there the sports pundit would spend hours talking to the animals.
He went on: “Going down there allowed me to unravel my thoughts. And I’ll be honest, some of those thoughts could be dark. I worried about where I was going to end up. Would my physical and neurological deterioration just keep going and going?
“I’m a man who has always wanted to help, to provide, to love and nurture those around me. And now I could only see myself as a burden. A shell of the man I used to be that they would be left to look after.
“And it’s at that point I’d think, ‘They’d be better off without me.’”
Chris also reflected on the death of his friend Gary Speed, the former Wales manager who tragically committed suicide in 2011.
He went on to share that he didn’t want to become a burden to Anne and their sons, as he shared: “How do you prevent it from happening? You take yourself out of the picture. There were times when I definitely thought that was a way out.”
Chris admitted that being open about his personal struggles allowed him to realise his future might not be “bleak” despite continuing to suffer from the condition.
The 65-year-old was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid in 2021 as he made the decision to step back from his broadcasting career.
He later received an apraxia diagnosis a little-understood neurological condition that affects the body’s ability to perform natural motor functions.
Chris previously said he felt like a fraud due to the condition, as he developed problems with his speech which impacted his work as part of Soccer Saturday’s football round-up team.
The former midfielder, who played for nine English professional clubs in a career spanning 20 years, recently returned to screens to co-host The Games and Ninja Warrior UK.
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Source: NewsFinale
