Jade Roper is trying to “get to the other side” of her pregnancy loss after undergoing surgery for a missed miscarriage.
The “Bachelor in Paradise” alum posted an emotional photo via Instagram Tuesday ahead of the procedure.
“Well, here we are,” the former reality star, 36, captioned the hospital snap. “I didn’t want or expect it to go this way, but it is.
“I so badly wanted to bury him under a beautiful tree in our yard, to see any glimpse of his tiny body, which is I why I held out so long trying to trust my body,” she continued. “But, it is time to heal.”
Roper went on to write that in order to “respect [her] baby” and “protect” her own peace, she was only “sharing bits and pieces” of the devastating pregnancy loss.
“And to Beau,” she concluded, “I carried your body for almost 5 months, your soul for a little less, but I carry you with me in my heart every where and for always. 💗”
Afterwards, the “Bachelor” alum posted an Instagram Story selfie in a sweater with a hospital band around her wrist and a bandage on her hand.
“Home. Resting,” she wrote, calling herself “heartbroken yet at peace.”
The social media upload came two weeks after Roper let her followers know that she was “navigating a miscarriage.”
She explained, “While his heart has stopped and he has stopped growing (for some time now), my body hasn’t released the pregnancy yet. I am hoping to do this naturally and am trusting in timing and in my body under the care of my provider.”
Roper showed an ultrasound photo and her baby bump while sharing the “deep and complex grief” she and husband Tanner Tolbert were experiencing.
The couple, who share daughter Emerson, 5, son Brooks, 3, and son Reed, 2, went to the hospital later that same week.
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“At the ER, woke up feeling awful and needed stat blood work and an ultrasound,” Roper wrote at the time. “Still experiencing a missed miscarriage and my body isn’t releasing the pregnancy.”
Her healthcare providers were “worried a bit about infection.”
The former ABC personality asked for her fans to “respect [her] choice to try and go this route naturally” before praising her partner.
“He’s been trying to make me laugh today to help keep our state [of mind] a little lighter with everything going on,” Roper gushed of the 36-year-old.
She and Tolbert have been married since January 2016.
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