Getting a ‘sleep divorce’ – choosing to sleep apart – has been traditionally frowned upon and considered a sign of a dying marriage.
But more than a third of American couples sleep in a different room from their partner, according to a new national survey by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine.
Stigma aside, they may actually sleep better because of it. Experts believe that it could cut out distractions like snoring, stolen covers, and early alarms, which may lead to a more restful night’s rest.
And it may even improve their relationship.
Dr Seema Khosla, pulmonologist and spokesperson for the AASM, said: ‘We know that poor sleep can worsen your mood, and those who are sleep deprived are more likely to argue with their partners.
‘There may be some resentment toward the person causing the sleep disruption which can negatively impact relationships.’
A survey from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine found that more than a third of Americans are practicing sleep divorce, which involves sleeping in separate beds or different rooms to reduce distractions and get a better night’s rest
Data from CFAH shows that less than a third of Americans get eight hours of sleep
‘Getting a good night’s sleep is important for both health and happiness, so it’s no surprise that some couples choose to sleep apart for their overall well-being.’
In the survey of more than 2,000 US adults, millennials were the most likely age group to practice sleep divorce, with 43 percent of them engaging in it.
This group was also most likely to use eye masks, earplugs, and silent alarms to accommodate their partner.
The survey also found that 42 percent of Americans don’t adjust their sleep routine when they start sharing a bed with their partner. Over half of those ages 55 to 64 keep their same routine.
One third of participants go to bed earlier or later to accommodate their partner.
Additionally, men are three times more likely than women to use a silent alarm to keep from disturbing their partner.
The survey builds on recent research that suggests restful sleep could help save relationships.
A study from the University of California at Berkeley found that poor sleep could cause relationship conflicts, and another study from Paracelsus Private Medical University suggested that a lack of sleep and relationship issues go hand-in-hand.
Sleeping apart could help the third of Americans who aren’t getting enough sleep, according to figures from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
User Joanna, who runs the TikTok account happyhealthnews, said in a recent video that she and her husband have used separate blankets for their entire marriage, which helps them sleep better amid her husband’s constant tossing and turning
Author Marcella Hill (left) and her husband sleep in different rooms, and she said ‘it’s pretty sexy being able to invite each other over.’ Abby Howard, 24, (right) and her husband do this to better care for their newborn
‘We’ve evolved to feeling like we need to sleep immediately next to the person that we’re married to,’ Dr Chris Winter, neurologist, sleep expert, and host of the Sleep Unplugged Podcast, told DailyMail.com.
‘That can cause a lot of problems from the way you want your environment set up, someone likes it dark and quiet and cool and the other person likes it warmer and they want the TV on.’
‘One person gets stuck in a situation that they don’t necessarily like, or both people, so there is merit to it for sure.’
However, having someone sleeping next to you may be key in detecting certain health problems, such as snoring indicating sleep apnea or constant kicking being a sign of restless leg syndrome.
‘The worst sleep situations that I’ve ever seen are generally people who are single because that thing was allowed to fester for so long because it really wasn’t disturbing anybody,’ Dr Winter said.
‘I think the better solution might be to help that individual who’s struggling.’
He said that most of his patients who practice sleep divorce are older, though it is becoming more widely accepted for younger generations.
The practice is buzzing on social media, garnering more than 4 million views on TikTok.
‘It’s saving marriages,’ a user named Joanna, who runs the account happyhealthnews, said in a recent video.
‘From the beginning of our marriage, because my husband tosses and turns so much, we made the decision to have two separate blankets.’
‘And let me tell you, we were mocked about it, but I have to say, our sleep quality is amazing.’
Author Marcella Hill shared on the app that when she got the urge to move into a separate bedroom, she was worried she ‘was on the verge of a divorce situation.’ It turned out to be healing.
‘I did not know so many of you guys were out there just happily having your own room and that it was saving your marriage and making it even better,’ she said.
‘It’s pretty sexy to be able to invite each other over.’
Matt and Abby Howard, who run a joint account with 5.1 million followers, stopped sleeping in the same after having kids. They have a newborn who regularly wakes up throughout the night, and because Mr Howard is a light sleeper, he takes the night shift and naps during the day.
‘I, on the other hand, am a pretty deep sleeper, can’t sleep in and hate napping,’ Mrs Howard, 24, said in the video.
‘I was super hesitant at first, but sometimes you just gotta sleep.’
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